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BLIND PAIN

It was a cold day in Hell...
 When I woke up dizzy
 I always wake up on the "right side of the bed" and I mean ALWAYS 
 Its almost like the term BEAUTY SLEEP was made for me.
 I don't feel beautiful this morning. ..mainly because my stomach has been churning and couldn't keep nothing in
 Or it might be the fact that I feel like I was in an accident over the night's rest and would hurriedly rush back to bed for another..
 I stared into my doctor's eyes when she told me I was expecting a baby.....The human brain is always active...thinking, plotting, planning. .I was once told!
 My brain was empty..BLANK!
 Its a wonder why she called it a BUNDLE OF JOY...ptff!!
 She could see I'm not wearing a wedding band and I could see the disgust written on her face OR was I just imagining it?? I really didn't wait to find out or bother.... it's an irony she could see my sadness explicitly and still called my baby a "JOY BUNDLE"....I mean really!! I think I just acknowledged it as a Baby!
    Reality Dawns...I'm a single young adult unwillingly becoming a parent.
 Killing the baby came as easy as daylight...I am filled with nothingness and my head is still BLANK
 I might as well get over with it and nothing ever happened!
    I did it!! With that nothingness I feel. Its amazing how the human body feels like a "container"....sometimes its filled and sometimes its not.
  No matter how filled or empty it gets...there are just most things I couldn't control when I sleep.

And that was when it dawned on me....I didn't destroy just my "BUNDLE OF JOY"...I destroyed a part of me. A part of me I wouldn't get back even if I tried..
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